Rory Rants: a Badgley Mischka miss

Impulsively and regrettably, I swapped a full bottle of Hypnotic Poison for a full bottle of Badgley Mischka, unsniffed.  I rationalized that it was spring, and I wanted a change.  I already had a bottle of Hypnotic Poison parfum, a mini eau de toilette, and the full bottle eau de toilette seemed excessive.  I wanted to shed my heavy, gothy, decadent notes of rose, tuberose, and musk for something sweet, fresh, and fun, but still sophisticated.  Most importantly, Tania Sanchez had given Badgley Mischka a glowing, five star review in Perfumes: the A-Z Guide.  After reading the review, I decided Badgley Mischka would combine everything I loved about J'adore and Hypnotic Poison into one perfect perfume that could reinvent me as a carefree yet elegant spring spirit.

I should have known I was doomed by thinking that anything, even a perfume, could transform my brooding, autumn-loving, Scorpio personality into a carefree, spring spirit... but well, I tried.  I do love unabashed, feminine florals, many of which fall into a more traditional, "fruity floral" category, but Lucky Scent nails it in their Scorpio description in that I love "dramatic notes of sexy florals", not safe fruity florals.  Badgley Mischka reminded me just how little I like overt fruit notes.  I do enjoy peach (Dior's J'adore or Robert Piguet's Visa) or subtle fruits that work as an accent to florals, not as the focus.  I even have a weird thing for Juliette Has a Gun's Miss Charming, with "wild fruits" that yell alongside loud roses and musks, but I didn't like the fruitiness of Badgley Mischka.  Between the peaches, lychees, magoes, and pineapples the top notes are like fruit punch- and I really don't like fruit punch.  Sanchez says it has "a big, breathtakingly gorgeous fruity top note," and those adjectives work if you like fruit, but if you don't, replace gorgeous with stressful and there you have my reaction upon receiving a full bottle in the mail.  There was also a fresh, synthetic quality to the top notes that I really can't describe as anything other than cheap.  Wearing it made me feel like everyone else, just another average girl walking out of the mall.  I immediately had swapper's regret, and have missed my Hypnotic Poison EdT ever since, especially since all the discount fragrance sites have plenty of cheap Badgley Mischka but Hypnotic Poison is always listed close to full price.   

Ultimately, I have no interest in reviewing terrible perfumes.  There are not enough hours in the day to watch reality TV when I still have not seen every film in the Criterion Collection, and similarly I don't have enough time to keep tabs on every bottle of industrial strength synthetics being pushed by a celebrity-of-the-month when I have yet to try even a fraction of what Lucky Scent has to offer.  What is interesting about Badgley Mischka is that it's ultimately a well-crafted perfume, but like all art, perfume is subjective.  Ultimately, I am not the kind of woman who would wear Badgley Mischka, and testing it marked a turning point in my understanding of perfume.  Up until then, I had used the Perfumes A-Z Guide as a bible, clamoring to try anything that was rated five stars, and not differentiating between the tastes of Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez.  After Badgley Mischka, I came into myself, owning and defending my tastes even when they differed from the reviews and opinions of others.

I'm reviewing Badgley Mischka today because it is once again headed out for swap, and I've tested it just to remember my reaction. Anything is easier to appreciate when you know it will soon be gone, and so this time, I notice the jasmine middle notes, and the patchouli base and woody dry down. As far as fruity florals go, this one really is sophisticated, and would stand out among the other department store fruity florals as chic, subtle, and glamorous. However, those fresh, fruity, synthetic top notes still nag me, and I will not regret sending it off to someone else who will hopefully appreciate it more than me.